Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Poly-themed Movies You Might Want to See

Dear Viny,

I've really been enjoying this new blog! Hanging on every word! I just saw the movie Her, which had interesting poly overtones. Have you seen it? Can you recommend other movies with good messages for the poly crowd?

An Adoring Fan


Dear Adorable Person-Whose-Email-Address-I-Recognize,

I'm so glad to know that strangers on the internet are not the only people reading my blog! :-)

Thank you for giving me a no-brainer question to answer. As you know, it's been a tough week for me, and compiling a "to-watch" list is just about my speed right now. Please pass the popcorn!

Yes, I have seen Her, and it was fantastic, IMNSHO. (One of my alt-relationship FB friends hated it, though: she said something like, "If the future is about high-waisted pants, hush puppy shoes, and an inability to relate to anything on a non-narcissistic level, then forget it -- and I want my 2 hours back.") Regardless, from an open relationship perspective, there were some interesting scenes. Some examples: 1) the botched encounter with Samantha's body surrogate; 2) when Theodore asks Samantha, "Are you talking to anyone else right now?" and she admits that she is talking to over 8,000 others at that moment, and to being in love with more than 600 of them; 3) the ending scene, in which the two humans are able to comfort each other because they have been intimate with each other about their intimacies with others.

Other poly-relevant movies I would recommend include Kinsey, Henry & June, and Shortbus. Great films for sparking discussion along the lines of, "Wouldn't their lives have been so much less dysfunctional/tragic if only they had been poly?!" include Frieda, 28 Hotel Rooms, and Blue Is the Warmest Color.  

Since the above is a pretty short list, I polled the members of one of the online alt-relationship groups to which I belong, asking for their faves, and got the following suggestions:

Angels of Sex
Paint Your Wagon
Design for Living
Gloomy Sunday
It's a Disaster
French Twist
Summer Lovers 

I think I'm going to start with Angels of Sex, because it was recommended by more than one person, and apparently -- to quote one woman who has a way with words -- "Everyone in the movie was, like, stupid hot. Just unreasonably attractive." Sounds good to me!

Someone also recommended this list of poly-themed movies compiled by The InnKeeper, who seems to be more of a movie buff than I am. Enjoy!

Flimflam & Firecrackers,


  1. a good old-fashioned orgy, my girlfriend's boyfriend, and a home at the end of the world are good, too.

  2. A couple more, suggested by reddit readers: Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and The Unbearable Lightness of Being.